damn! i never update this thing. i am here all the time on my friends page but tumlbr and fb rule my online life i suppose.

this city flooded this summer, well parts of it. by the way some are acting you would thinking our city was at one point at the bottom of a sea. perhaps i feel this way because my house did not flood (or come close to it just like 3/4 of the town) and i have experienced a much grander flood that actually flooded 80% of that city vs the 25% now.

either way it is still sad and i have donated money and blah blah blah. things are on the up and fema is setting up trailers. our little city has lost a major bypass and has gained a lot of new people to work on the oil rigs and to make bank during flood cleanup. the city is crowded and it keeps me inside dreading the moment i need something i can't order online.

i was suppose to be moved by now but instead i took a promotion at work, a 3$ an hour raise and benefits. i am scared about moving out of this state, but only because we have an amazing economy here in North Dakota that i know doesn't exists in any state right now. i want to move for the cultural but i don't also want to be poor then. the whole point of being back in ND was to get educated so i could leave again and find a decent job. chicago was fun even when i was poor, but i rode on the financial backs of others the entire time i was there. ah to be young. i couldn't do that now even if it was offered.

so i hope my job now will not only give me experience but also allow me to get myself into a position where being poor will only effect me.

i have caught the disease of spending more now that i make more but i have still stuck to not buying any dvds/blu-rays or video games (for any system including pc). i will actually allow myself to buy the big lebowski on se blu-ray if i can find it in a store... no luck yet.

truth be told most of the money is going to shit i need and have been putting off forever. and lots of it still paying down credit cards. i have paid 3 off and they are all annoying me about it. i have not used one card in so long i get a new credit card like once every 6 months cause they are afraid i have lost it. also i have never received so many fucking checks from my credit cards either. they were way happier with me as a customer when i was over the limit and occurring those fees next to my late fees. i actually applied for some credit somewhere for the first time in a long time and my limit had increased 4 fold from the limit i am use to getting when i apply for credit anywhere. scary.

life is pretty boring and work is stressful. i went from working 32 hours a week to 52 hour a week. i am down now to about 45 hours and with just 1 day off a week. i don't honestly think the hours are such a big deal. i really think it is the crew. new people who are not that good or dependable, good people who are annoyed with the new people who then try to get back at them by slacking themselves, and 2 good people.

okay well ia m bored with this already... or distracted is maybe a better term.

last night i had this dream that made me feel incredibly lonely. it had a bunch of friends from my past in it and they were all together having so much fun and for some reason i wasn't able to join them even though i was at the same places they were. i wasn't being shunned or anything i recall my friends being nice to be from a distance. i felt more regret than loneliness during the dream but when i woke up i really just couldn't ignore a huge amount of sadness that had taken over me.

of course i have over analyzed it and turned it in some sort of metaphor on how i find it really hard to truly connect with other people and my awkward social skills, etc... but the feelings i had all day because of that dream seem very overwhelming - as a result i spent most of day just sleeping and somewhat bothered.

how can it be that i have not watched Aria the Origination?????

WTF?

i NEED to move

i no longer believe in god

i did in fact graduate spring 2010 (BA)

i am growing my hair out

anyone own a successful company who wants to hire me and move me around the country/world?

making a list of the games i own

( that fit into these two categoriesCollapse )

little music rant here... if contemode and d-topia are the best japan had to offer for this mystical genre "j-electro" i would tell "j-electro" to kill itself after murdering visual-kei. so why is that every time i think something is gonna be cool and give me a lot of japanese electronic music or artists' names what i get is a shitty list of every capsule release ever? i essentially dislike capsule because you like them. maybe i am lame but i blame it on your lameness.

i don't honestly hate capsule i love nakata if just for Perfume

i haven't really left lj. just stopped posting. i stalk my f-list daily if not more.

craziness at work. i know you are a little bitch who likes to start shit. please leave sooner than two weeks. our store would like to be left alone.

my goal was 100..... not even close, in fact this list is horribly incomplete but i still know i didn't hit 100 new movies. i did happen to see one of the worst movies i have ever had to endure in my entire life... that was The Happening. i am starting my 2010 one, hoping to be able to recall the past few months of barely any movie watching.

001. Monster House; Gil Kenan, 2006 - USA 7/10
002. The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie; Stephen Hillenburg, 2004 - USA 7/10
003. In Bruges; Martin McDonagh, 2008 - UK 8/10
004. My Private Idaho; Gus Van Sant, 1991 - USA 10/10
005. Dasepo Naughty Girls; Je-yong Lee, 2006 - South Korea 9/10
006. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen; Stephen Norrington, 2003 - USA 5/10
007. Funkey Forest: First Contact; Katsuhito Ishii, Hajime Ishimine & Shunichiro Miki, 2005 - Japan 7/10
008. Enchanted; Kevin Lima, 2007 - USA 10/10
009. Attack on the Pin-up Boys; Lee Kwon, 2007 - South Korea 7/10
010. Burn After Reading; Coen Brothers, 2008 - USA 9/10
011. In The Mood For Love; Wong Kar-Wai, 2000 - Hong Kong 11/10
012. Bam Bam and Celeste; Lorene Machado, 2005 - USA 7/10
013. Love/Juice; Kaze Shindo, 2000 - Japan 7/10
014. Broken English; Zoe Cassavetes, 2007 - USA 7/10
015. Ad Lib Night; Yoon-ki Lee, 2006 - Korea 9/10
016. Hana & Alice; Shunji Iwai, 2004 - Japan 10/10
017. Strawberry Shortcakes; Hitoshi Yazaki, 2006 - Japan 10/10
018. Sukiyaki Western Django; Takashi Miike, 2007 - Japan 9/10
019. Chasseurs de dragons; Guillaume Ivernel & Arthur Qwak, 2008 - France 6/10
020. Adams æbler; Anders Thomas Jensen, 2005 - Denmark 8/10
021. Fallen Angels; Wong Kar Wai, 1995 - Hong Kong 9/10
022. Valley Girl; Martha Coolidge, 1983 - USA 5/10
023. Knife in the Water; Roman Polanski, 1962 - Poland 9/10
024. Rock 'n' Roll High School; Allan Arkush, 1979 - USA 6/10
025. Husbands and Wives; Woody Allen, 1992 - USA 8/10
026. Herbie Hancock: Possibilities;Doug Biro & Jon Fine, 2006 - USA 9/10
027. Forgetting Sarah Marshall; Nicholas Stoller, 2008 - USA 7/10
028. Waterwalker; Bill Mason, 1984 - Canada 10/10
029. Coraline; Henry Selick, 2009 - USA 8/10
030. Ningen Johatsu (A Man Vanishes); Shohei Imamura, 1967 - Japan 6/10
031. Super High Me; Michael Blieden, 2007 - USA 10/10
032. The Atomic Cafe; Jayne Loader, Kevin & Pierce Rafferty, 1982 - USA 7/10
033. Chocolate; Prachya Pinkaew, 2008 - Thailand 8/10
034. Slacker; Richard Linklater, 1991 - USA 9/10
035. The World's Best Prom; Chris Talbott & Ari Vena, 2006 - USA 6/10
036. Home Movie; Chris Smith, 2001 - USA 7/10
037. Pineapple Express; David Gordon Green, 2008 - USA 10/10
038. Smultronstället (Wild Strawberries); Ingmar Bergman, 1957 - Sweden 7/10